August 23, 2010
Modern Manners Monday: What Would YOU Do?
You and your family have been visiting different places of worship in your area for the past few months.
You think you've finally found one where you feel comfortable, enjoy the experience and everyone in your family is accommodated for.
Each week you settle in and walk away feeling so refreshed EXCEPT one of the ushers/doorkeepers has begun to recognize your face.
After exchanging pleasantries about the service, she begins badgering you about formally joining the church. You're not quite ready and slightly annoyed.
What do YOU do?
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Nothing. You continue to do what you've been doing and join when you feel it's right for you. No explaination needed at all.
ReplyDeleteI hate that. As someone who has moved a lot and attended many churches, I've had this happen to me. I've even had one of the ministers try to get me to join one Sunday. I totally believe that this isn't something you can be pressured into. God knows your heart. He knows why you're doing something and if you're only doing it because someone pressured you, it's not for the right reason. I think you have to politely let them know that you will do what is right for you and at a time when you feel completely sure and ready. If they keep badgering you, maybe you need to rethink attending the church.
ReplyDeleteAgree with Tonia. I wouldn't let the one ushers "enthusiasm" color my feelings about the enter experience. If everything else feels right, keep attending. When we're ready to join, we will.
ReplyDeleteI would politely tell the usher that we enjoy the church and he/she will be the first person to know if we decide to join. I cannot stand the pressure. For me it is a big turn off because I think that if a rep of the church is pressuring you to join, then it must be for a reason. (side eye)
ReplyDeleteI would sweetly and politely tell her to let God do HIS job. He will move in my life when he is ready to do so. I can see why you love this church so much, thank you for being so friendly.
ReplyDeleteEnd of story.
I would tell her to pray for me and hope that would shut her up.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all the comments. Coming from a very religious household and formally being strong in my convictions, I see both sides of it. I think you can ask and suggest but based on ones response you need to know when to step back. I think the polite thing for the church would be - "Your welcome in our home/church anytime and if there is anything we can do to make you feel at home and/or answer any of your questions please let us know, we'd love to have you as part of our family." This gives you the opportunity to respond and/or like Tonia said you don't need to offer an explaination. This is something I've learned with age. You do not need to explain yourself. If they keep persisting...that right there would bug me. I have to say, I love the questions you pose.
ReplyDeleteThere is a point when a person's enthusiasm seemingly crosses the line...it's not that's its wrong...it does have its place, timing, and wisdom on when to say it and how often! The Spirit of God is not stupid or foolish! Greeting with warmth and joy leaves more of a favorable impression and makes a greater impact on a visitor's decision.
ReplyDeleteRe busybodyk response. From experience, that will not shut the person up...especially if you know anything about prayer! Side note: I personally don't make a habit of asking anyone to pray for me. I can't leave such a vital, precious decision making expression that involves my life in a strangers hands for them to ask amiss! Praying for a person's guidance and direction to be where only God knows is best for them and where their fruitfulness will please Him is the way to do it. If the family becomes members at another church, they don't have to be strangers...they can always return to visit! We are actually supposed to be one Body, right! -pearls
Tell her when and if you're ready you'll join and that you need no further discussion from her regarding. o_0
ReplyDeleteI echo the suggestions re: thank her for the friendly welcome, compliment the church and say nicely but firmly that you'll decide as a family when the time is right, and she'll be the first to know.
ReplyDeleteIf she persists after that, I'd ask her to step to the side quietly and tell her that as I said before, I appreciate the welcome, but her advances are making us feel pressured, which we do not appreciate. "I understand you have the best of intentions..." etc. etc., but I'd be very clear (in the nicest possible way) that I do not want to hear another word re: joining the church until *we* approach *you* about it.