February 1, 2010

Modern Manners Monday: What Would YOU Do?

Good day, everyone! One of TBS's dear readers has a quandary. Won't you help?

Dear TBS,

I've been going to my hair stylist for the past two years, and even went to her for my wedding. A good friend recommended her to me initially, and I was primarily interested because the salon was right around the corner from where I live. Since then, we've become Facebook friends and have a good relationship, and I'm very happy with her work.

But, gah, she just sent out notice that she's left the salon in my neighborhood and landed allll the way across town! I'm afraid that if I don't remain loyal to her she'll find out via Facebook. Her cuts are good, but nothing I can't get from someone at a more convient location. I'm getting pretty shaggy, so it's decision time: Do I go out of my way to spare our friendship? Or do I break it off in favor of convenience, and potentially finding someone even more talented???

Love to get some help!

What would YOU do?


  1. I really don't think your "friendship" will be tested if you see another stylist. I'm no hairdresser, but I think clients get more attached to the stylist than stylist to the client. Keep in mind that your stylist, while she probably wants to keep your business, sees many, many clients in a week. So i don't think she'll take it personally if you go to someone else, especially if she moved across town. I say, find someone who is closer to you.

  2. She sent out notice and didn't tell you personally that she was considering moving? Let's be clear, yall have a business relationship not a friendship-she appreciates your business, you like her work, and you two get along and don't see much of each other outside the salon, correct?. Find someone closer to you. If she doesn't like it, oh well, I'm sure she has plenty of clients across town where she is. Now if you couldn't find someone to do the same work I'd say follow her.

  3. "It's not personal, it's business; keep repeating that to yourself."

    I remind myself of that quote ALL the time. I definitely think you ought to call or message her out of your own personal standard of tact and politeness, but do NOT feel obligated to be inconvenienced.

    If her cuts are just that amazing, when compared to your new hairdresser, then you might go out of your way to see her.

  4. Exactly. This is business. She made a business decision to move. You can make a business decision not to follow her. Given that you have enjoyed the relationship, a little card wishing her well in her new environment would be lovely.

  5. Agreed. This has happened to me before -- and while I loved my stylist's work.. the convenience was key for me. I found someone close who I now adore, and if I run into my old stylist (rare) it's all cordial and friendly.

    It is just business after all.

  6. Your stylist/friend made a decision that was good for her. You should do the same. If you want to "support" her every now and then that's fine, but you shouldn't feel burdered.

  7. As a former hair stylist, I would suggest you send her a casual message via Facebook and let her know that her new salon is a farther distance than you are willing/able to travel, and although you very much appreciated her work on your hair, you feel you need to find a new salon that is closer to you.
    Personally, I always felt so much more comfortable when I saw former clients (who were also friends) and I KNEW why they had switched stylists, rather than having to wonder if they had been unhappy with my work all that time.
    Hope that helps!

  8. If she's a good friend, I would let her know that I won't be following her to her new salon due to convenience. I had a stylist who was willing to come to my house, and if she's willing to do that, cool. If not, hopefully she respects you enough to understand your need to find someone new.

  9. Same thing happened to me...so now I have 2 hairstylists...one does a color and cut and the other does the cut in between...neither one has discussed this and there is no reason to discuss it!

  10. My mom and sis are both hairstylists and this happens all the time. You are acquantiances, not best friends. You are paying for a service and she should understand that if she is indeed a professional. This is the time to make the break.

  11. My hairstylist moved several years ago across town. It took forever to get there and I had to now pay for my parking. I quit going. I had to.

    I told him why and just found someone near me.

  12. Wish her well in her new location, say, "I hate that I can't drive that far to see you - can you recommend someone closer to me? It just kills me that I won't be able to use you any more!"

    It has taken me a year and a half to get my husband to stop using his old stylist by where we used to live. He would drive 45 minutes and pay $40 to have Nicole cut his hair. I finally got him to try my stylist, Carol, who is five minutes from our house and charges $20. He was sooooo sure that only Nicole could cut his hair. Because you know his hair was so unusual.



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