June 28, 2010

Modern Manners Monday: What Would YOU Do?

You've worked reeeeealllllly hard throughout the years to become a force in your profession.  You've been fortunate enough to receive a bevy of accolades and are well-respected in your industry.

Your job is a really fun one and it has afforded you the opportunity to build some great relationships and your Rolodex is "Who's Who" of suppliers to celebrities.  Because you've been diligent and strategic about your network, you're also very protective of it and rightfully so.

Though you don't mind turning the occasional favor, an acquaintance is asking you for a mile-long list of your contacts versus hiring you to do what you actually do for a living.

What do YOU do?


  1. "I will be happy to help you. Here's my card, call me on my professional line so we can discuss a game plan of action." Those words alone should let this person know a fee will be involved.

  2. This just happened to me just last month. She wanted to get to my contact list soo bad and kept bringing it up everytime I talked with her. I just ignored her and kept it moving. A contact list is something that YOU have gathered through hard work, networking and hitting the pavement and emails and persistence.

    I would tell that person politely that I don't share my contacts but if they needed one or two people's contact, I could do that. That chic never bothered to contact me again either.

  3. Suggest the acquaintance make an appointment with you to discuss affordable options. I agree with Michelle.

  4. I would nicely tell this acquaintance about how hard I worked to become respected in my profession and by the contacts in my rolodex. I would suggest to them to let me help for a fee because if my name is attached to their event then the "Who's Who" will know that it will be a "Can't miss!" Also, this will help get their foot in the door and on the way to be respected as my contacts and workers know that I only help those with great potential.

  5. These are all great suggestions and I would do the same.

    I just ask to exchange contact info and then be sure to connect on different social media websites and let them know that I will keep them in mind for anything I feel would benefit them.

    I love your blog!


  6. Or offer to have lunch with your acquaintance and ONE of your contacts, as a way to get them started but still make clear it's your damn network and you worked hard to build it:).

  7. The contact list is like intellectual property - YOU've developed it, fine-tuned it over the years through your own hard work.

    Your contacts are familiar with YOU, not your friend. Giving that milk away for free cheapens YOU as a contact and makes you less trustworthy (if I'm a celebrity, do I want to bring someone into my inner circle who just gives out my contact info to any friend who asks?).

    If you introduce your friend to your contacts, fine, that's the appropriate way to do it - with you as a personal intermediary. But this is the same as your friend using you as a reference in that it equates to you vouching for your friend, so make sure that's something you're comfortable doing.

  8. I have never minded sharing one or two contacts but my entire list? No way!

    I agree with the previous posters about charging a consulting fee.

  9. I love this blog

  10. I would tell an acquaintance "I made a decision long ago that I would not share my contact list with anyone as there are many people who do not want to be contacted by anyone they do not personally know."

    Things gotten easily are held in the lowest of esteem.

  11. I would remind her that I am accepting new clients, and would be happy to do the event. Sorry sweetie, I won't be able to turn over my contact list. Thanks.

  12. Ditto, to presenting business card and calling me on my business line to discuss it further. Yet, I would tell the person upfront that the client list is confidential and due to privacy issues, it can't be divulged. So, call me if you're still interested in discussing any other business related matters. -pearls

  13. I just couldn't do it. I'm not so sure that someone who would ask for such a thing is a friend or someone I want to do bidness with, either. That's just not the kind of thing a person asks for for free.

    I'd just have to say no, thank you, but it's so sweet of you to ask.

  14. no, thank you, but it's so sweet of you to ask.

    That is southern code for, "No way in hell."

    And it works.

    I use it on solicitors all the time. By the time they have figured out what happened, I have closed the door or walked away.

    PS This is the same person who asks her doctor acquaintance for a diagnosis at a party.


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