It's been about 6 months since you had your first baby and you couldn't be happier.
Since you embrace "To thine own self be true", you recognize that you still have a few pounds to shed but haven't put any pressure on yourself.
Your seemingly well-meaning BFF continues to drop hints about how great it'll be when you get back in shape and are back to your old self again. For Christmas, she gave you a gym membership and for your birthday, she gifted you a membership to Weight Watchers. It's beginning to get a tad old.
What do YOU do?
That is so horrid. What is her body situation? Is she projecting her own issues on to you? Call her on it!!
ReplyDeleteWowser!!! I would just tell her point blank to back off. You definitely have to call her on it.
ReplyDeleteObviously this friend does not have kids! Actually I would tell her thanks! If she purchased these things for me, that would be great. Who don't want to lose weight after having kids? The thing is this, if she is purchasing it for me because I can't afford it for myself then that's fine. If she is purchasing it for me because she is ashamed to be around me then we need to talk.
ReplyDeleteI'm loving Modern Manners Monday!
Since she is my "BFF," I'd tell her that her continual reminders about my new body shape are hurtful. I'd tell her that I am aware that I no longer have the figure I had before I had children and that it seems to be more of a problem for her than it is for me. Then I'd go eat another Snickers bar while I rock the baby.
ReplyDeleteHas this friend had a baby yet? If so, then she should empathize. She should remember the struggles of having to lose the weight. If she was able to lose it quickly, then lucky her. Not everyone's body is built the same.
ReplyDeleteIf she hasn't had a baby, then clearly she doesn't understand how time consuming a little one can be. Before my son and during my pregnancy, I had plenty of time to work out. Once he was born, it took time to adjust to taking care of a new one (still adjusting!). Especially in the first year in which the child continously develops. When taking care of a child, spouse, and house, sometimes a workout is the last priority.
Also, when you breastfeed a child, you tend to hold onto more weight as you are producing milk. Maybe this friend formula fed their child and didn't have to do feedings ever 1.5-2 hours like breastfeed babies. Maybe their child sleeps through the night which allows them to get up energized and ready for a workout.
There are a lot of different factors and I could go on for days. If the friend had a baby, I wouldn't tell them to back off. I would be thankful for the gym membership and Weight Watchers and suggest that we both go together and motivate each other. Maybe she didn't have anyone to motivate her as she tried to lose the weight so she doesn't realize she is coming on too strong.
If the friend doesn't have a child, I wouldn't hold it against her because she just doesn't know any better.
Sorry for the novel but I had a lot to say on this one!
I would tell her to leave me along about my weight or risk getting cussed out. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteI'd tell my own mother that. (Minus the cussing out part).
If she didn't get the hint after that, she'd get the cold shoulder for a while. I think hints and support is great and can be helpful and motivational.
Beating a dead horse is not.
Oh my, I don't know many people who were back to pre-baby weight before a year, a few but not many. If it was just 6 months ago and you are comfortable with your body you should just tell her that. Also, if you are nursing it isn't good for the baby to lose the weight too quickly because all those yucky toxins can be released through your milk. Slow and steady is really the healthiest for you and your baby. Maybe she should go with you to the first Weight Watchers meeting so that she can hear it when THEY tell you that too!
ReplyDeleteWOW. The gifts are nice, but the connotation behind them is mean and hurtful, and if that's your best friend, those feelings should be acknowledged. I haven't had kids, but I'm sure that most new mothers would love nothing more than to lose weight--if it was that easy, it would've already been done. It's fine to want the best for someone, but it should always be done in a kind and respectful way. I would thank my BFF, but let her know that it's hurtful to know that she's always discussing my weight. After having a baby, the idea of "getting back to your old self" is really no longer relevant--you're a new person now.
ReplyDeleteI'd ignore her and just give her the cold shoulder when she'd jumped on my last nerve. Oh maybe I'd tell her it might take me up to a year before I'm back to my old self.
ReplyDeleteIt's just rude to discuss the contents of anyone's stomach, unless that stomach is currently being pumped.
ReplyDeleteIf your BFF can't keep her thoughts about your person to herself, baby or no, then you and her ain't friends.
I think the main thing is to discern where this "friend's" comments where coming from. Some are from the heart and just couched indelicately. Others are meant to be snide hurtful remarks hiding under the cloak of "telling you because I love you". The first you could probably forgive. The latter, needs to be told in no uncertain terms to keep her opinions and backhanded gifts to herself!!!
ReplyDeleteJust a quick question,
ReplyDeletehow many years after pregnancy do most ladies aim to lose all the baby weight?
Honestly I would just come right out and say that you will do it on your time.
ReplyDeleteI had to do this with my dad years ago.
Totally love that you host Modern Manners Mondays!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely you should have a conversation with your BFF about this! Honestly wins out in a relationship - especially with us girls. Chances are, she simply doesn't realize the major league hits to your ego she is imposing. A short conversation will likely put things back on track.
I would just tell her how much my husband likes my new curves. - He just can't keep his hands off of me!
ReplyDeleteIf this was coming from my REAL best friend I'd start going to the gym with her and working out. My real best friend would know already that I am extremely vain and would recognize if I didn't start getting a handle on my weight I was going to end up depressed.
ReplyDeleteIf this was one of these PSEUDO friends...I'd tag her something proper.
I'd tell her I'm not ready yet and to back off, BUT I'd give her a time frame to start nagging again. My BFF knows me as well as I know myself so while she is ok with the weight she gained during pregnancy, she knows I'd most certainly not be. If my attitude about it had changed, I'd tell her and expect her to fall back accordingly.
ReplyDeleteI'd deck her!
ReplyDelete