Dear Tarzhay…

Dear Tarzhay,
First of all: hi (waving profusely)! I love you so much. We’ve been friends since you were nee’ the not-so-glamourous Richway and Gold Circle before evolving into the wonder that is the Bull’s Eye. My connection with you is a feeling that’s becoming more and more difficult for me to articulate each day. You provide comfort and you never disappoint. You’re reliable and always answer the bell. Whether in Seattle, Miami or any place in between, I can count on you to be there for me. It seems that you are omnipresent even…
But now you’re doing things that are a bit disturbing: enabling me to spend no less than $50 each time I cross your threshold; putting things that I can not resist on Clearance all willy-nilly; strategically situating my favorite Orbit gum right by the register so that it’s easily accessible during my checkout…you must stop! Right now!
I’ve resorted to all sorts of mischief to distract Mr TBS others from our relationship: sneaking bags into the house; visiting you during lunch; talking to you on-line…this has to stop.
And it will! Consider yourself on notice…
After I get these:

Then, it’s over. For probably a few days, please don’t leave me good,
TBS