I hope everyone had a great weekend. I was so sorry to leave you hanging with the Disney Dream details last week but our internet availability on the ship was sort of sketchy. Do stay tuned for more updates this week.
This week's MMM comes from my email box.
Dear TBS:
I have dished out a couple of gifts over the past few weeks and I've noticed the lack of formal 'Thank You' notes from the recipients. In each case, I've gotten an email expressing their appreciation. Is this the "new" normal? Is it acceptable? When is it appropriate to send an email versus a formal thank you not via traditional mail? Does the value of the gift make a difference? Big gift = a card? Smaller gift = an email?
I've been known NOT to know every step or shift in etiquette expectations. Will your readers help?
Thankfully,
Thankful
What would YOU do?
As long as someone acknowledges the gift, I'm fine with that. I think with so much instant connectivity sending a more formal thank you card has gone by the wayside for many.
ReplyDeleteHonestly (and sadly) I'm just happy to GET a thank you in whatever form it comes.....
ReplyDeleteHonestly (and sadly)I'm just happy to GET a thank you, in any form!
ReplyDeleteGood question and let's hope one that provokes many comments. Being of the old school, I would be inclined to express gratitude in kind; ie, something tangible for something tangible. This would be a rock solid rule for money gifts. Email might be appropriate if the donor and recipient share a "green" ethic and the sentiment betrayed thoughtful effort behind a well-turned phrase. No cliches or tweets, s'il vous plait. Decorative graphics would also be welcome in this context.
ReplyDeleteI'm sporadic with my notes. I've been taught to send formal thank you notes but I don't always do this when its a gift from a girlfriend. I regularly send thank you notes when I'm invited to someone's home for dinner or a party. I've decided to get better at this.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be bothered if I didn't get a thank you note for a gift I've given. A verbal acknowledgment is enough for me.
I think that it is not acceptable but it is the new normal. I mean, does it really take that much more (or any more) time to write out a three line card than it does to send an email? No. It's lazy and tacky. But completely normal in today's society.
ReplyDeleteI've wondered about such rules too. One client mailed me a 20.00 restaurant gift card for Christmas, and I sent him an email thank you. Another client brought by an envelope with a card and 200.00 cash. She wouldn't stay while I opened it, I guess because she didn't want me to be embarrassed. I sent her a written thank you note because she came here in person, not because her gift was so much more than the restaurant card. Another client brought by a bottle of wine and took me to lunch, and still another brought me a tea towel embroidered with my monogram. I didn't send them anything because I thanked them in person.
ReplyDeleteI am fine with email. We don't need to stand on protocol here, only to acknowledge and appreciate the effort and sentiment. Technology is only that. Technology.
ReplyDeleteI am fine with a quick email or no thank you at all if I've given the gift and been thanked in person. A thank you note is nice, but unnecessary. In fact, it almost bugs me to get one from the mom of a brand new baby or someone I've brought dinner to when they had a crisis. I know they got it, and I know they're swamped. Stop wasting time on thank you notes!
ReplyDeleteI do appreciate a written note when I send a gift, just so I know it was received. I really don't care what the method is - I'd rather have a genuine and heartfelt email or even a text than a handwritten "form letter".
I am trying to teach my kids to hand write thank you notes, especially to the old grouchy people in our lives who will make a point of it if they don't get one. Interesting thing that my son pointed out to me is that those people don't write thank you notes TO us! They just expect them FROM us. Hmmm...never thought of that.
I do both. I like to send a thank you email right away. But handwritten cards are still a nice touch. This year I sent New Years "Thank You" cards to everyone who had been helpful to me this past year as well as several others who have been by my side for much longer.
ReplyDeleteI am single-handedly working to bring the art of letter writing back to the forefront. A handwritten thank you note is the appropriate form to use when thanking someone for their kindness - for a gift, dinner, words of encouragement, etc. If someone thought enough of you to take the time to buy you a gift, make you dinner, have an hour long conversation about you and your dilemma, the least you can do is take 3 -5 minutes to write them a note of gratitude on paper and drop it in the mail. The experience of writing and receiving good ‘ole fashioned snail mail cannot be duplicated with the latest technological communication devices.
ReplyDeleteAs we say at effie's paper - Spread a little sunshine, send a handwritten note.
Yours in all things paper,
Kalyn Johnson Chandler
As a relatively new transplant to the south, where manners were born, I have adopted and love the act of sending handwritten thank you notes. I never send thank you notes via email, and always make it a point to send my handwritten notes within two week of receiving the gift. Not only are handwritten notes the right thing to do, but it's a stylish touch as well.
ReplyDeleteI recently received a gift for the baby we are expecting in March. It was from a high school friend who I mostly talk to via email as we live in different states. I sent an email thanking her and then I also sent a handwritten note. While handwritten anything has gone by the wayside, I think the person appreciates that you took a few minutes to actually take pen to paper. It takesjust as long as an email.
ReplyDeleteNo I wouldn't expect a written note. An email would be fine. If I was thanked in person then that would suffice actually. I would only be looking for a formal note for a wedding or shower gift. If it was, say a big party and I didn't get a chance to hand her the gift in person (maybe put it on a table) then it would be nice for her to call me or send an email.
ReplyDeleteI think a written note is always the preference but an email is fine, especially since so many folk don't do anything at all. If its a wedding or shower gift, I think an email thank you is a little tacky, well very tacky for a wedding.
ReplyDelete