December 27, 2010

Modern Manners Monday: What Would YOU Do?





Dear TBS,


My office hired someone new.  My boss liked this new person so much that she didn't test her skills.  

It turns out that in spite of six years "experience" in our field, she can do practically nothing, makes a lot of technical mistakes and needs babysitting. 

We haven't had pay raises in three years, and we haven't complained, since the economy has been bad, and business, which about crashed three years ago, is only now getting back to pre-crash levels.  


When our boss was on vacation, our former bookkeeper came in to do payroll, and left the new person's paycheck in her drawer.  When everyone went home that day, I stayed, turned on the coffee maker, and steamed open that pay envelope.  When I found out that the new person was making 3k more per year than I am being paid, I wished I didn't know, because it caused me such a rage, for which there was nothing I could do.  Basically this new, untested person, hired on the basis of a sweet personality, was given all the raises we've foregone in the last three years and is making more than anybody else here, all of us with at least five years seniority on her.


I feel helpless and hopeless. Can you ask your readers to weigh in on what I should do?


Sincerely,
Long-Timer

29 comments:

  1. Wowser this one is interesting!

    Well, I would say that you can't do anything at all especially since you invaded her privacy. You my friend should go have a seat somewhere. Just my thoughts.

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  2. Okay...as a business owner...I have a bias on this. First of all, opening someone else's paycheck is a big no-no. You crossed a serious line here. One for which you could be fired if this was discovered.
    The unemployment rate is hovering above 9% and we are in the worst economic downturn that my generation has seen. Unless you are independently wealthy, suck it up, do not (I repeat do not) discuss with your co-workers (I guarantee that will tell the boss how you got this info), go to church and pray on it, work on your skills and when the economic landscape is better move on.

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  3. Continue to feel bad. Make sure to really stew in it. Shame on you for opening up someone's paycheck! The nerve! Seek and ye shall find! I hope you feel even worse.

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  4. Well as a business owner myself I think that what you did was horrible! There is nothing that you can do, but I will share this with you... Your boss probably already knows that he/she made an error but letting someone go or reducing their pay is a process. The owner of the company did what they thought was best and you should trust that they know what they are doing! I made this error before (recently) and it constantly haunts me, but I basically had to wait out the contract I had signed and behind closed doors I was always on this "over-paid" person, I made the person want to quit but I can say the person has really stepped up but my contract is up on Thursday!! I learned a big lesson! Even owners of companies make mistakes...

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  5. I totally understand your rage, but agree that you can't do a thing about it. Keep your mouth shut so you don't get in trouble.

    If you had seen it accidentally it might be a little different, but steaming open that envelope was a deliberate and calculated act. Hopefully you will learn something from this mistake.

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  6. I can't believe you opened someone's paycheck. Are you serious? I mean sure...it's a raw deal but you overstepped some serious boundaries to find out. My mouth is wide open at this. People think this is okay to do? REALLY?????

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  7. Agree with all. You should feel bad. If you're that unhappy with this new information, find a new job.

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  8. I find it hard to believe a woman of substance such as yourself as done such a thing, alas if you did, shame, shame, shame. What should you do? Nothing! You've done enough! Now to the other issue, if you have noticed this person's lack of skill, others have too. As Mama says, "If it doesn't come out in the wash, it will come out in the rinse". Let this situation work itself out.

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  9. There's nothing you can do about this but change your attitude about it. Only you can make yourself feel helpless and hopeless. Change your attitude and your situation will change.

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  10. I have been in your shoes. Not the stealing someone's mail part- I found out on accident and so did others. But it was very much the same boat where I was doing my work and her work and she was being paid double. I never said anything, it drove me insane, and I eventually left the position. Which for me was the best choice at the time. But there were a LOT of other factors so this is not a great example.

    My advice is like everyone else on here- keep your mouth shut and the info to yourself. That could really wreck your career- she is not worth bringing yourself down. If your boss hired her, perhaps things are turning around in the company and your pay increase is just around the corner. Or perhaps you might be able to ask for an extra week of pto if they are not ready to give raises. But oh Lordy...keep this story in the vault forever. I do understand the temptation but it will only hurt you in the end.

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  11. I think she knows that what she did was wrong HOWEVER, I still think she should ask for a raise. Of course, she can't mention that she saw this woman's pay check, but IMO she should have a conversation with her supervisor about getting some kind of raise. I'd work really hard and press the issue. I'd also do like the new hiree: look for a new job elsewhere and woo them with my "sweet" personality. Often times, new hires get a nice starting salary.

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  12. Well dang! Now if she comes up unemployed all of a sudden we know why! Thats a nosey chic! lol

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  13. You already know you were wrong for snooping. You can't hate the woman for knowing her worth and negotiating her salary accordingly. Your boss must have seen some value in her to offer her the position at a higher price.

    As a business owner, you definitely can't tell me who I should hire and what I should pay them. Instead of focusing your hatred on this woman, I suggest you review your accomplishments at the company and prepare to negotiate a raise based on your own merits, not because of what your co-worker makes. You'll either be able to argue a good case or identify areas of improvement that would make you eligible for a raise.

    I would also suggest looking for another job if you're unhappy about your pay. You'll either find a job that pays you more, or realize there's not much out there and be happy where you are.

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  14. Good grief, there's lots of harsh judgment from commenters today. People in glass houses....

    TBS: My heart breaks for you. This is clearly about more than just money. This is about validation, appreciation, loyalty & much more. My advice isn't worth much, but i hope you can burn the memory of what you now know, do your job to the very best of your abilities, and pray that God will bless you with another, better opportunity. As you well know, bitterness & negativity will only hurt you in the end, so don't give into that. Stay positive, joyful & grateful for what you DO have.

    I wish you blessings, peace of mind, & a better opportunity in the near future!

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  15. I don't see the harsh judgement, just folks calling the writer out on her nonsense. Her initial action was ugly, plain and simple. Don't front, if you found out she peeked in your pocketbook, you'd be pissed. So, she can't expect any praise from anyone for going through someone's mail. She needs to get HERSELF together and get some SELF-ESTEEM; then she won't need to be concerned with what's in someone else's paycheck.

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  16. First, what you did was illegal and very serious! You allowed your anger to over rule your better judgment in this situation, and no matter how unfair the situation appears to be in your thinking, your behavior is not even justified! That envelope was on company property and is considered its property until the recipient actually receives it. Therefore, making it a monetarily, live-tendered, legal document! That's the seond invasion was going into her 'assigned' desk drawer, etc. all on company property!

    Second, you may not have complained to your boss, but something has been brewing somewhere in your subconscious mind in order for you to go to this absurd extreme! The best thing for you to do, if you want your job and to avoid having charges pressed against you (seriously, if you don't think so...open your mouth and watch the mess it creates for you-legally, they can do it) is to keep your 'mouth' shut, get your attitude in check, and start practicing how to 'ask' for what you want on your own merit! Then, do it! Being envious and petty will only keep you on a merry-go-round of more envy and pettiness! Never getting ahead because you're too busy obstructing your focus by comparing yourself with someone else!

    Reality check...you don't know everything about this woman's capabilities. Some people don't and can't list all of their work experience on their resume (I know I don't and can't). This makes a prospective employee more interesting during the interviewing process. In addition to that, some people just have a knack and the confidence to ask 'upfront' what they want (its obvious that you didn't even consider that)! While the others, just accept what they can get! Grumblin', mumblin', wishin', and a hopin' things will change! While being ticked off at someone the boss smiles at or shows favor towards! By the way...have any of you smiled or have been cheery, lately in the office or do you all park on grumble, mumble alley all day long!

    P.S. Every new person that enters a new job needs some type of 'babysitting' as you call it. Where I come from its still called training or assistance until the person adjusts to their new environment. Really, you all could learn from this person...she just may be your boss one day!

    Your (own) attitude determines your (own) altitude and how high 'you' fly!

    -pearls

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  17. So often, the boss is completely out of touch with the actual office dynamic, and blissfully unaware that their glittering new hire is truly a total dud. Ok, ok, so you DEFINITELY should not have steamed open that envelope...you are not Nancy Drew, darling. In the real world, that is considered sneaky and lowdown, not intrepid and investigative! That said, this IS a situation you have every right to be steamed about.

    You and your co-workers have stood by your boss and your company through tough times, and, rather than reward your loyalty, he/she instead chose to lavish money on a new hire, who is now sucking the luster out of your workday.

    So yes, be mad. But don't be hopeless, and for heaven's sake, don't be rash! Rather than quitting, confronting your boss alone, or bullying your new coworker, try this: Get your office mates together outside of work, and initiate a discussion. Notice I said discussion, NOT bitch-fest. You already know what you're unhappy about and why, so focus instead on proactive ways to improve the situation.

    Whether that's gathering a month's worth of documentation on the dud's obvious lack of "experience in the field" and presenting it to your boss as a group, along with your suspicions that she misrepresented herself, and the many ways in which she is a drain on the company's resources, or taking the poor dud under your collective wings and teaching her how to EARN her paycheck (Remember, these are incredibly tough times, cookie, and she may have felt a need to over-represent her qualifications simply to snag any job she could. You never know what someone else is up against.), keep it professional, and never, ever, ever tell a soul about that paycheck.

    Best of luck!

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  18. Note: This post was written TO The Broke Socialite not BY The Broke Socialite.

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  19. I don't understand the reasoning behind wanting to get rid of a new person, who by no fault of her own, makes more than everyone else, is liked by the boss, and is adjusting to her new work environment. Did she make a 'grave' error that can't be fixed? Its a wonder the woman is having some time to efficiently adjust to her job...she's having to get up everyday, most likely give herself a pep talk just to face a crappy, horrible, not to mention the negative vibes (all undeserved) from her co-workers who were all in her shoes at one point in time or another. You try to focus in that type of environment everyday...while smiling and trying to be pleasant to a bunch of eye-rolling, whispering, snappy when asking a question, excluding when lunch time comes, supposedly mature professional women! It's pitiful! Where's the empathy...or have all of you had an easy ride and was embraced with warmth as a newbie wherever you've worked! Geez...she's done nothing personally against anyone in that office...so why retaliate with getting rid of her! If that's the case...honey, reciprocity is going to not only meet you, but knock on your door and enter in 'big time' to embrace you. Even if what you did (peeking at her paycheck) doesn't surface to be known...believe me...it will in some other form if you all without justifiable cause, get rid of her!

    So, my advice is to look at yourself, first (the biggest offender in this case) work on your attitude, and get on good terms with the new person by assisting her! You all never know who she 'knows' and how networking with her could be an asset to everyone in that office! That's why I've always hated clicks with a passion! No reasonable individuality or guts to stand up for what's right!

    P.S. I'm not being mean to you...I'm only telling you the truth...so your life will not be miserable! Because your attitude is already attracting misery! You just haven't been objective enough in your thinking to be aware of it! PEACE!

    -pearls

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  20. You must seriously evaluate your financial position versus your need to "reveal" someone else's professional flaws. Your info may be well received, or you could be seen as an instigator, at which point, your boss would opt to help you find the slippery slope out of the door...effectively staunching rebellion.

    We used to have a saying at my old job. " There's nothing like a hanging to quiet the town" DON'T let it be you!

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  21. Don't ask the question you don't want to know the answer to, or don't steam open the envelope that will make you miserable. Perhaps you should have stopped to question yourself "Once I open this envelope what do I plan to do with the information, sit around whining I feel hopeless and helpless or will I use the information to empower me to sharpen my skills and get the hell out of dodge?" Steaming open an envelope isn't cool, but whining about you getting what you deserved is just plain pathetic.

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  22. Anon's got it right; I feel sorry for this woman, having to deal with bitter, snoopy, and downright jealous coworkers like the person who submitted this letter. Good for her for negotiating such a good salary. And shame on the poster for going into someone's private things! I hope the woman in question finds out what she did; I'd be curious to see what she did with such information.

    Sure, nobody likes to see The New Person be the favorite, especially if they're not pulling their weight, but maybe you could take a page from this woman's book. If you say her sweet personality helped her get the job, why not incorporate the same in your work? If you say her inexperience is making your life hard, why not help her get some experience?
    It sounds like you're just jealous and hateful, and just plain wrong.

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  23. I think the writer just figured out why she isnt making as much as she would like. I am sure her sneakiness hasnt gone unnoticed!

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  24. I don't think you should have opened this woman's paycheck.

    I also don't think you should have let yourself go for the past 3 years without a raise. Screw the status of the economy. You're a loyal employee, skilled, and you bring something to the company (I hope) and if you do, then you should be compensated.

    Honey, you didn't need to look at that lady's paycheck. You needed to look at your own and evaluate your value in your current position. Request a raise. And if you cannot get a raise, seek a promotion at your job. And if you've exhausted those two outlets, then begin looking elsewhere for a position. Of course be professional about the whole thing, but you have to do for yourself. If your finances are suffering, then you need to evaluate that -- regardless of who your supervisor hires.

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  25. It makes me wonder if said person is stretching the truth a bit about this new employe since she steamed open this employee's paycheck. She got what she deserved.

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  26. Never speak of this again.

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  27. OMG! The shit you are taking for this is unbelievable. Who are your readers? The morality police? I think it's fucking hilarious what you did! I wouldn't say it's morally or ethically correct, but it's pretty funny from this side of the screen.

    Anyway, as to what to do? Pretty much what everyone else said. Don't tell anyone. Also, delete this post and clear the cache since someone you work with could find this blog (your pictures on it with the vlogs etc) and said post and then you'd be up shits creek.

    Figure out your list of accomplishments over the last three years and negotiate for a raise and/or start looking for other jobs if it really feels unbearable.

    Also, as an aside...are you *sure* you read her paycheck correctly? Sometimes there is overtime, or a bonus or whatever and perhaps the figure you saw is not her regular recurring pay?

    Also, *try* not to feel to angry or at least use that competitive rage constructively.

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  28. Just re-read this and realized it's a reader question, not something you actually did, which makes it less funny :-(

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  29. I didn't realize employers still issued hard copy checks or check stubs. Thank God for direct deposit!

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