August 9, 2010

Modern Manners Monday: What Would YOU Do?


A good friend is visiting your home for the weekend.

She's taking a nap in the guest room; so leave her at your home alone while you pop out the market for a few last minute dinner party (you're throwing one in her honor) items.

You return about an hour later to find her sitting on your bed reading your journal which was tucked away in your nightstand.

It is obvious that she was not expecting your return.

The both of you are equally startled (for different reasons, of course).

What would YOU do?

25 comments:

  1. This is a hard one. I don't think that I can touch this one with a ten foot pole.
    but
    Realisticly, I would ask her to leave. The weekend wouldn't be the same. We can talk after I've had time to think about the situation, and I'm not so upset.

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  2. Oh my ... bad news. Well, what I would want to do and would actually do are two different things (I tend to talk a tougher game than I actually have). I would tell her I felt that she had violated my privacy and hurt our friendship by snooping. I would also tell her that as my good friend, she would likely not be reading anything she didn't already know but that it would be hard to trust her in the future. I would likely try to act normal for the rest of her visit even though I'd be seething inside.
    I love your Monday questions - what an awkward situation!

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  3. We're done and dinner's off!!!

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  4. In mind mind I woulda whooped her azz but I would probably yell, scream and tell her to get the hell out. I am a very quiet and shy person but if you mess with my private things then my gangsta side might come out! :)

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  5. As she has no repsect for my privacy or friendship,I would ask her to leave my house before I did something we both would regret.

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  6. I think i would wait for her reaction. I would defiantly expect an apology. If she did not mention it then I would carry on with the weekend as if nothing had happened and then write an "Girlfriend" break up letter and let her know that I am disappointed by her behavior and I only allow people into my home whom I trust and now that that has been violated we will have to end our relationship

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  7. I would only leave someone in my home alone who is a real friend and by that I mean I've already flushed them out for being a drama queen, crackhead, man stealer...that kind of stuff. This person would be close to me like family. If I caught her reading my journal I'd have to ask her why she was so curious to read all the things I already tell her about in our daily phone calls. Then I'd probably let her know that she is my friend because I've built up trust for her. Going through my journal without my knowledge means that she's lost some ground with me and it will be up to her to build it back up. Then I'd leave her alone. She'd probably have enough guilt to take her into the next couple years.

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  8. I can't know until I heard what she said in response to my shocked, "What are you doing? Is that really my journal?"

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  9. I would be very upset that they took the liberty to read my personal thoughts--good friend or not. I would definitely have a friend to friend discussion about boundaries and privacy in our relationship. I think it is best to clear the air and that may mean putting a strain on the friendship, but it there has to be understanding and reconciliation on both sides or the relationship will not be valuable or long lasting.

    I always like to ask them to step into my shoes and ask how they would handle the situation. It would be very difficult to just ignore it and have the party without having this dicussion.

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  10. WOW. I'd tell her what a huge violation that is and that I think it's time for her to leave. Not sure our friendship would recover from that.

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  11. I wouldn't say anything. Everything happens for a reason.

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  12. Come on Ms. TBS! I want to hear your answer! Not sure what I would do. I guess it would really depend on who it was and how close we were!

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  14. After a resounding B'WHAT! I'd PUT.HER.OUT.PERIOD!

    If the dinner is that night I'd have it and tell folks she couldn't make it. If it's the following night I'd cancel. No explanation needed. Folks don't need to know why I do what I what to do in my home.

    BUT SHE'D KNOW.

    See...people play too much and I blame reality television. Folks think they can act a donkey's butt and then after we're all going to be playing footsies singing Kumbaya fake friend playing. NOT! Imma need you to at least PRETEND you were raised right in my home.

    Oooooooooooooooooooh this made my BLOOD BOIL!

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  15. How could she think that was okay? She would need to leave. Such a violation, IMO!

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  16. Her sitting on my bed alone would make me see red. THEN she's going through my things???

    I don't have anything positive to say. There wouldn't be a dinner party after that.

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  17. The party would be off and she would have to leave my house immediately.

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  18. Broke Socialite, your readers are very "classy". We wouldn't be discussing a damn thing. She'd have to go. My OWN children aren't allowed to dig through my things in my bedroom because there is no telling what they may find. ;-) But for a "guest", that I felt close enough to leave in my home? After some "choice words", she'd be shown the door.

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  19. I'd cancel the dinner. Unless all of the people invited were my friends also. But we'd be having the dinner without her. My feelings would probably be hurt so no need for an argument, I don't fight with my "friends". I would just want her to go.

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  20. I'd cuss her out and ask her to leave. The dinner would be cancelled.

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  21. It's wrong. Tell her you are disappointed. Get through the weekend and be the bigger person. Not every action needs to have a reaction.

    If I trust someone alone in my house, I trust them with my stuff. I have nothing to hide. And to end a relationship because of one breach of privacy is silly. Unless it is important to you of course.

    You got to pick your battle and if this is really important to you. Very important then go to extreme and end the relationship. Punish yourself, others and her by canceling the dinner. And try explaining that to people "Oh i canceled the dinner because she abused my privacy and read my diary" --- sounds petty and silly.

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  22. Somebody going through your private things means you don't know WTF the person is capable of doing. No Class = Danger
    People need to take heed to the warning signs that life brings their way.

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  23. I would probably say something like, "I know, it's good riiight? That's probably why you didn't hear me coming." It's my personality to break up tense moments with "humor." I'd wait for her to respond. I'm sure dinner would be off. We'll see about the friendship.

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  24. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I'd say "getcho ish and get out!" Dinner would be cancelled if possible or proceed w/o her.

    This post had me shaking for a minute. I do journal, and sometimes I write stuff I wouldn't tell anybody. Man, the friendship might be over.

    -Deljah

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  25. I had to say my jaw was on the floor as that is one I have not heard before and I'm big on social graces. This would would be a fly by the seat of my pants reaction so no clue what I would do. Now I've picked my jaw up on off the floor what was your reaction?

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