June 7, 2010

Modern Manners Monday: What Would YOU Do?

A Family Visit to the Smithsonian

After being out of touch for over ten years, you reconnect with a distant cousin on Facebook.

It's been fun catching up and sharing pictures.

You receive a Facebook InBox message which reads that your cousin, her husband and their six children (all under 12 years old) are passing through your area on the way to their summer vacation and she thought it'd be great if they stopped and stayed "a few days" at your house.

What would YOU do?

18 comments:

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  2. LOL, I would suggest a great hotel, and meet up for lunch or dinner with them. I've actually had this happen to me several times. Very awkward and they were distant cousins that found out what I do for a living.

    Then they went into,"Hey cousin, we are coming down and wanted to hang out with you". I politely emailed them great hotels to stay at in the area. Sure enough, they didn't make it down lol.

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  3. wow - that sounds like a mess. honestly, i would offer to host them for dinner - or host a family cook-out while in town instead of lodging for 8 people in my house for a few days. not enough beds...or patience! oh wee!

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  4. I would just tell her that I wouldn't be able to accommodate EIGHT people! Like Tami said, I would email her a list of hotels in the area. I'd tell her that I would love to meet them for lunch or dinner.

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  5. Tiffany In HoustonJune 7, 2010 at 8:42 AM

    Ditto everyone else. Suggest hotels. This happened to my parents and I promptly told my daddy to call them back and decline. The relatives in questions thought they were doing my folks a favor becasuse they said they would bring and cook their own food. WTF??

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  6. I agree with everyone here. I'd tell her that I simply did not have space for that many people and suggest that we meet for lunch one day while they are in the area. Takes a lot of nerve to ask to bring your six kids for "a few days!"

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  7. If my cousin had the nerve to suggest that her family of 8 stay at my house, then I would have the nerve to tell her that I prefer not to have guest spend the night. I would tell her that they would be more than welcome to come over for lunch but after that, they have to go.

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  8. I like a full house:). I'd probably ask her to stay two nights - and make it clear that after that it wouldn't be fun for her children.

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  9. Same thing I always do - tell them it just won't suit, but I'd love to see them for dinner at a nice sit-down place with cloth napkins.

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  10. I've been in this EXACT situation except it was 2 kids and 16 years had passed. One, I didn't have the extra space for 4 ppl and 2) I think that's a huge imposition and presumptuous to ask that your whole family stay with someone you haven't seen in well over a decade. I felt like I was being used to save $$ rather than my cousin having a genuine desire to reconnect with me. I explained the space situation and suggested hotels. We made plans to hang out for a meal with the whole fam and drinks for just us girls to catch up while they were in town. No hard feelings were made as far as I know and we've gone back to being FB
    'friends' with an occassional phone call to catch up.

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  11. Oh my. Well if I honestly had room for 8 (!) extra people, I'd welcome them, but I'd make it specific e.g. "We have a hectic week starting Monday, but we'd love to have all of you here Friday and Saturday night, if those nights work for you. Otherwise I'd be happy to send you some hotel info."

    But as I don't have room for 8 extra people, I'd say that we'd love to see them, but simply have nowhere near enough square feet for that many extra bodies, and would suggest economical hotel options and tell them I could host a bbq or something similar.

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  12. I am fortunate to know a lot of people in the area and would start making calls to find bedrooms. I would also suggest that the family in question bring on the air mattresses and that the kids get ready for a slumber party. It's not pretty but it would work. I have many 1st cousins around the world who I haven't seen since I was 5, who would not bat an eye at putting me up...then again I'm just one girl...and not a full team.

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  13. I would tell her we had commitments that whole season and just couldn't accommodate. No way would I spend that much time, in my home, miserable! Too many kids and making small talk with somebody distant! I am not a good hostess!

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  14. That depends! First, if there's adequate rooms for everyone to rest comfortably. Second, depends on how well-mannered the children are (relatives do share that info). That's just my take. If it was my mother, it wouldn't matter. She'd make room! Family was family to her. Whether 10 or 20 years of non-communication, it made no difference to her. She was always a bridge of warmth and love when it came to reuniting with distant relatives. I recall many times when we had a full house of relatives. My mother made the atmosphere festive. Nothing ever was broken and my mother never hid or locked away anything precious to her. Everyone knew how to conduct themselves when they entered our home and we had so much fun! She was the BEST! -pearls

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  15. I had over 12 EXTRA people in my house - for hurricane Gustav - I say the more the merrier -blow up the air mattress and start cleaning the bath room.

    PS See you soon for graze!

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  16. I would quickly plan a trip out of town. :)

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  17. Oh Jesus...lol. I would definitely say that we couldn't accommodate but would recommend a nearby hotel with great rates.

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  18. "So sorry, we'll be busy, out of town, having other guests during that time." Invite them over for dinner, tell them you'd like to meet them for brunch or a trip to the museum, etc. Offer to recommend a hotel.

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