May 3, 2010

Modern Manners Monday: What Would YOU Do?


Your child has received an invitation to a birthday party at a theme-based restaurant followed by a sleepover from a classmate.  The "small print" on the invitation asks parents to send $50 to cover their entertainment, meal and a movie the next day.

As it turns out, a kid from the neighborhood (who your child likes just as much) is also having a birthday party: there will be a pool party, DJ, face painting, the works.  The "small print" on this invitation indicates that no money is needed and the only requirement is bringing a sleeping bag.

What would YOU do?

34 comments:

  1. This is an easy one. Parties shouldn't cost money to attend. Simple.

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  2. My kids would be headed to the pool party... I don't allow my kids to go to sleepovers anyway. The kids could come to my house instead, no charge! Who does that!?!

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  3. Agree with CreoleInDC- terribly rude to ask for money to attend a birthday party. Now IF it were a casual "friend get together" and perhaps they were going to Six Flags {or the like} for a day, then that would be a different story... But in this case, we're jumping in the pool!

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  4. AS much as I might hate the decision, I would let my child choose which one he wanted to go to. Knowing my child he would choose the pool party. But then I wouldn't be the bad guy for forcing one way or the other.

    Yes it is rude to ask for money for a party. But I wouldn't make my kid suffer for an adult mistake.

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  5. I agree with onefromphilly. Even though I don't want to. I would let my (non-existent) child decide.

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  6. Who ever heard of asking for money from guests to cover the cost of a child's birthday party! I would have to politely decline the invitation for my child to attend.

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  7. How awkward will it be when a child "forgets" his $50.00 for the entertainment, movie and meal the next day? It's a train wreck.

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  8. As tacky as the parents are, I'm in agreement with onefromphilly. I'd let my son decide which he wanted to attend. I'd grumble if he picked the one with the rude $50 price tag and give the parents the side eye when I dropped him off.

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  9. I agree, have to let the kid decide, depending on the kid's age of course. But would be far less likely to have him/her show up with an elaborate present. I think this is unheard of.

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  10. Tiffany In HoustonMay 3, 2010 at 12:34 PM

    Pool party all the way.

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  11. I'm sorry, call me cheap, my limit for gifts is $20. So to ask for $50 is a stretch. We'd be going to the sleep over.

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  12. Fiddy bones!!!! That's outrageous. If you absolutely MUST ask for money for a party, my max is $20. They wouldn't go to that party even if there weren't other options. But in this situation, my kiddies would definitely attend the free party.

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  13. I can't imagine someone asking parents for money for a party. The only way I would let my child choose is if he were old enough for me to explain in confidence why I have reservations about the first party. I don't want him thinking that is a proper way to send an invitation. Maybe I'm being harsh, but sheesh. :)

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  14. hmmm motherhood or not (NOT in my case) best believe....my child will be the talk of the town at THE POOL PARTY. What parent has the audacity to ask for $50 to attend a bday party? Wait...nevermind, I know some people......geewiz....

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  15. I don't have children so I can't give an expert answer but I would have to say that if the child liked both children the same and both parties sounded good to your child then you would have to go with the invitation you received first. First come/invite first serve!

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  16. That's just crazy to ask money for a child's party! I wouldn't even entertain the thought.

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  17. Man I am in the wrong business. Y'all can bring your kids to my house this weekend for $49.

    You don't even need to bring me a gift!! ;)

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  18. That's a funny one, funny like this ain't even a close decision! We are headed to the Pool Party. No way am I paying 50 bucks (or like K. Rock said FIDDY BONES!!) for my kid to party. For a parent to fine print that is crazy- you better get a sponsor, better known as grandmom/pop to help with the event or do what many of us parents or anyone who really wants to have something has done. Save up the money and pay for it. I have 2 sons born in the same month- May, and one turns 16 this year!!! Yup, you guessed it, I am going to be so broke come June, I won't be able to pay attention. But best believe when my 16 year old has his weekend extravaganza, then turning around a week later and treating a bunch of rowdy 7 YOs to a pool party, we will be footing the bill for his friends. I know the big it is coming a put a little away so it won't hurt so much. I thankfully am leanring how to live within (ok,ok- sorta within :) my means and have stopped trying to keep up with the Jones. These people need to do the same.

    Please say this isn't real- Do people really do this?

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  19. If I weren't inclined to pay a cover charge for my kid to go to a party (and I wouldn't be), I wouldn't ask my kid what he wanted to do. I'd just send a gift and regrets.

    The one party has nothing to do with the other as the question is written.

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  20. Lately this seems to be the norm for parties. The last birthday pary my daughter went to. I ended up giving her 40 bucks. They went to Incredible pizza which costs to get in and play the games.

    I believe you provide the party and they provide the gifts. These days you're lucky if you get a gift.

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  21. Child, this is a no-brainer. Pool party all day.

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  22. My eyes are bad so I couldn't read the small print on the 1st invite. When the second invitation arrived I'd found my reading glasses. Ahh, there we are.....pool party it is!

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  23. Sorry everyone, I just reread my post from earlier... see why I can't spare the 50 bucks? I obviously need to invest in spell and grammar check! Sheesh!
    from Anonymous 9:23

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  24. I'd let my kid decide what social events she was attending when she had fifty bucks and a car.

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  25. The pool party wins. Parties by invitation should not cost the guest.

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  26. Etiquetee says..... a host is never to ask guests to pay for anything EVER.... but, I too would ask my child which party he/she wanted to go to. It is not the childs fault his parents are not socially savy

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  27. My child would be at the pool party and sleeping at home with his/her family. If you can't afford to pay for the events at the party, then choose a more affordable activity. Are these the things that I really have to look forward to when I become a mommy? Oh my! :)

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  28. Hmmm...supertacky asking for money for a baby's party. I agree with Rosalynn, if you cannot afford to do this, then make other arrangements. I would however allow my child to choose...they don't need to know how de classe their friends' parents are. We can keep that amongst grown up convo :)

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  29. I agree with Susan. It wouldn't matter if there was a second party available, my daughter would not be going to the $50 one. As this is a classmate's party we would send our regrets ahead of time and she would bring a gift for the child to school on Friday.

    Of course I would explain the situation to my daughter so she would understand. No I don't want to make the birthday child suffer for her parent's lack of manners, which is why we would send a gift, but on the other hand my job as a parent is to train my child how to be a proper adult. Part of that training has to do with manners as well as financial responsibility. If my child were old enough and she had the money and was willing to pay for it herself, then and only then would it be her choice.

    Also, my daughter is not allowed to sleepover anyone's house that I do not personally know the entire family, especially the parents. Unfortunately the world is not what it used to be, so I am careful about the safety of my daughter.

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  30. There's an award waiting for you on my blog.

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  31. This just recently happened to me lol. I would tell the child my kid couldn't make it. I would still send a gift though. As far as the other party, we would be there.

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  32. Too funny! No way am I paying 50.00 to attend a party.Nope, not at all! I would also never give a party where the "invited guests" have to pay anything! That's not a party at all!

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  33. It is bad manners to ask for $50. on a party invitation. Period. No ifs, ands or buts. Parents, chances are you would want to separate your child from the parent asking for the $50. for other reasons,too. The Lord works in mysterious ways to separate you from people and things you need separating.

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  34. Sorry...we dont pay to party for kids unless its their party I am paying for. DO people really do that?

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