You have a friend, a really good friend, who is chronically late.
You've been patient as long as you can and have always held your tounge about her...erra...habit.
Your original plan falls through and you ask her to drive you to the airport.
She's late. Again.
So late that you can no longer check your bag.
It's a 5 day trip.
What do you do?
Unfortunately, I'm too nice. I would let it go - tell her it's OK and move on. However, I would just make a mental note to give her an earlier time (about 30 to 40 minutes prior to the actual time) for any event and hopefully she'll be right on time in the future. Also, she would not be the person I'd call if I need a ride and have a deadline.
ReplyDeleteMake her pay for overnight shipping of your bags to your destination. LOL. I'm sure I wouldn't do that. I'm such a pushover when it comes to that sort of thing. That's what I would want to do though. I have so many friends who are never on time for anything so I'm used to the "tell your friends to be there 1 hour before you actually need them there" rule. xo, Cristi
ReplyDeletei would blame myself for calling her in the first place. if she's known for always being late what would make me think that this time would be any different? i would never be in a situation as this. by calling this unreliable friend to bail me out shows that my expectations were clearly unrealistic. i would have been better off hailing a cab.
ReplyDeleteOh, dear, I am the chronically late one in this story, although I don't think I would sink so low to make my friend miss her plane. I recognize that my lateness is a terrible faux pas and have been working on improving!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that happened! I have to admit I'm a member of the chronically late club, in fact, I think I've been running ten minutes late my entire life. Best way to deal with people like me? Lie. Tell them you need them a half hour earlier than the real time.
ReplyDeleteIf I know that she is always late, I wouldn't take a chance on her following through on something of such importance. So, I would have to blame myself.
ReplyDeleteSome lesson are better learned the hard way.
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
OMG--I would be HEATED. I'm mean, BEYOND PISSED! I do have a really good friend (one of my best) who's chronically late, and after all the years I've learned to add 1 hour to whatever time she says. I love her, and I've adapted in a manner that allows me to sustain the friendship and my sanity. :) But I don't think she would ever do something like this, since she's a frequent traveler. If it ever happened, I would either ask her to cover the fee for the flight change, or ask her to overnight the bags as someone else suggested. If she wasn't open to doing either, I would SERIOUSLY examine whether she and I could remain friends, especially if it's clear that the only reason the bags couldn't go was because she was late (no traffic, etc.) Was she even apologetic???
ReplyDeleteNothing I can do. I know she's always late and yet I trusted her to get me to the airport on time? Sounds like I don't believe people when they show me who they are. This one is all on me.
ReplyDeletei would have taken an airport shuttle and not called the friend.
ReplyDeletemonnie is right. it would be all on me for trusting her to get me there on time. i would never ask her to do anything else important for me.
I guess if I called my friend who I knew was chronically late for a ride for something I have to be on time to, then my logic is flawed already. I'd be mad, super irritated, but hopefully, I would have called a cab or just driven myself to the airport in the first place. We all have friends that are like this and they are our friends for their good qualities not their bad.
ReplyDeleteI think these opinion posts are fun; I enjoy reading everyone's different takes.
I have a friend who is chronically late, and had to end up bringing it to her attention. I told her that when she's always late she's letting me know that my time is not important to her. She's been much better about it lately, but then again if I want her somewhere at a certain time, I tell her its 30min before the actual time! Its worked, and its saved a dear friendship! They say opposites attract because I"m chronically early! In this instance, I'd certainly bring it to her attention what her action has caused, and if she didnt step forward on her own, I'd really have to examine if our friendship was at all important to her.
ReplyDeleteIn a way, this is beyond etiquette. This is the nature of close relationships. Who are we, in close contact with others? How do we give and how do we get what we need. So, in this case, I don't think I know anything more than anyone else:).
ReplyDeleteI'd be mad as hell, but I can't blame her for being herself. It's more my fault than hers as I should have known better. That would be the last straw for me though...never make that mistake again, so that I'm not disappointed when she doesnt come through for me.
ReplyDeleteCatch a later flight and cuss her out. Oops, that's my evil side talking. I would definitely voice my frustration and let her know that she can't be trusted. I have learned with some "folk" you just gotta lie. Like I told my cousin that the cookout I need him to grill for started at 12 (really started at 3) and he showed up at 3. You either have to figure out their late window on stop depending on them for stuff.
ReplyDeleteFolks who are chronically late -- do so because they wish to be the very center of all attention or pity! Most are pity or attention addicts! Hardly the actions of a friend! Not reliable -- and therefore NOT the way to get to the airport! Never ever count on these types of people -- they will always put their lives first and foremost. What? you just DON'T understand their actions? Try telling them -- and that is the reaction you'll get! YOU should have to accomodate THEIR needs!! Don't be THEIR doormat!
ReplyDelete@Teacats, you make a very interesting point. i am always late and never realized it was because others might think it's because i wanted to be the center of attention or pity. i have two little ones to get ready on top of myself and i am doing my best to organize my time so that i am on time to most events. i usually FAIL big time. thanks for the eye opener, i will try to do better.
ReplyDeleteKnowing she's normally late I would tell her I was worried about the long lines at the airport and that I want to get there 3 hours before like they say. I would also keep in mind how long a taxi/marta combination would take. If she's so late I have to go with Plan B well... then she owes me a dinner equal to Plan B I figure... Which would make a great welcome home gift when I get back into town anyways.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to take the hit on this one, as I should have thought better than to ask someone that is habitually late.
ReplyDelete