Instead of going out, you've decided to meet up at one home for cocktails and chat on a Friday night. Throughout the week, there are exciting email going back and forth in anticipation of th gathering. The wine will be flowing and there's lots to talk about.
On Friday afternoon, an email comes from one friend saying that her babysitter fell through, her husband is working and she can't come unless she can bring her toddler.
What do you do?
I suppose it would depend on the closeness of the particular group of friends and how important it is that it be a "mom's only" event.
ReplyDeletePerhaps one of the girlfriends has an older child who could be pressed into service to entertain the toddler in another room?
It would be really difficult to tell a friend, "No, this is adults only" and leave them out of the gathering if there is some workable solution to the problem. If that's not possible, I would then be inclined to reschedule and say, "Let's do it when we all can enjoy a real Girl's Night Out.
I would suggest rescheduling at a time when all the friends can make it, minus any children.
ReplyDeleteThat would have been my suggestion before becoming a mom, and now that I am the mom of a 9 months old, my position is reaffirmed. The focus of a get together/outing/event changes when children are involved. And, if this has been a long time coming, I'm sure that the mom in question really does want (need) a night out with just the girls, minus the little one.
Concur. Reschedule:)
ReplyDeleteI dont have kids yet, but I would reschedule...every mother I know needs a kid-free evening now and then. Those of us who dont have kids take a night to engage with adults uninterupted for granted!
ReplyDeleteI have SO been there! No kiddos yet, and even though I love them, if it's been awhile since you've all been able to kick-back and relax then it's worth rescheduling. All my mommy friends tell me a kid-free night with the gals is an absolute MUST. That being said, those who could still attend would be drinkin' with me!!
ReplyDeleteI would offer to help her find a baby sitter. It would be too disappointing for me to reschedule and I don't think you'd have as much fun if a toddler was there. (Believe me, I know. I have a 1 year old!)
ReplyDeleteI would let her bring the baby-who cares? She'll be asleep in no time and we'll all be able to hang without a baby in the mix. I have 3 kids, and its hard to find a sitter-so I'm inviting people over to chill in my swanky garage all the time-many have to bring their kids too. So I say-have her come regardless.
ReplyDeleteOh, how I am loving the feedback! Keep it coming, please. This is a tough one!
ReplyDeleteI'm not a mom, but I have been in this situation. We moved the party to her house so the little one could be in bed at 7:30 and we were free to talk without having to spell out words. Was much easier than trying to find a new date that worked for 10 people.
ReplyDeleteAs a mom I have experienced that and have had folks offer to find another babysitter or reschedule. I think it would totally depend on the situation. However, more than likely I would just tell my friend to bring the baby.
ReplyDeleteAs a mom of three, I wouldn't think of asking if I could bring a child. Everyone wants to kick back and enjoy their cocktails, not babysit. I think a "Sorry, we'll miss you this week, but we hope to catch you next time" is in order.
ReplyDeleteCocktails and chatting at a friend's home doesn't sound too formal...it'd work great if the venue could be changed to her place. Perhaps she could get the tyke to bed early and then the real fun could ensue.
ReplyDeleteIMO, it'd be a shame to reschedule the event as it's tough enough to get an open date with multiple schedules. Or maybe another babysitting option is available between the other friend's connections...
If alternate solutions were offered and it still doesn't work out for the friend, at least she doesn't feel left out. That's part of being a good friend =)
Oh dear, I think I'd (politely) suggest that she would have more fun another time when the toddler was at home with dad. That should get the point across that it is an adults only evening. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI am of the opinion that we should try to find her a babysitter or move the party to her house. It is very difficult trying to coodinate the schedules of grown-ups let alone the schedules of people with kids. I feel strongly that the evening should not be rescheduled because of one person. Several people with the same issue, yes. One person, no.
ReplyDeleteLet her know I'm sorry she can't make it and that I'll let her know when the next girl's night out is.
ReplyDeleteYea, hate it, but I would have to let her know when the next girl's out is.
ReplyDelete