April 27, 2009

Modern Manners Monday: What Would You Do?


One of my favorite columns in The New York Times is 'Social Q's'. Ever so proper, the author addresses most any situation in which etiquette is injected these days. It might just be me but it seems that, in general, societal etiquette is worsening. With our microwaved lifestyles which includes an injection of technology, boundaries are being violated left and right.


From folk on their Bluetooth devices in restaurants to phone calls past 9 p.m. (there are exceptions, of course, like emergencies), poor manners is becoming an epidemic.


What are some of the social situations that you're encountering these days? Is everyone on their P's and Q's?


After all, I am The Broke SOCIALITE...let's talk manners!


Scenario (we'll start out really slowly):


You're at cocktails with a girlfriend whom you've not seen in nearly a quarter. Just as you've finished your hugs and settled in at a tabletop, she whips out her Blackberry. Unfazed, you accept her sweet apology as she says that she's going to answer this laaaaassssttt text. Lo and behold, an hour into your visit, she's put you on hold with her index finger in the middle of five different sentences so that she can tend to her texts.


What would you do?


14 comments:

  1. How rude! I would tell her that I need to leave, pay my check and cut the evening short. That would irritate the heck out of me. I'd send her a text (because clearly that's the easiest way to get her attention), and let her know that our evening was cut short because of her preoccupation with her texting.

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  2. Wow. Well, hmm. I admit I am addicted to my social media but unless I am in a roomful of similarly addicted folks, I lay off on the texting/tweeting/facebook until I am home. It will be there when I return.

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  3. Me, I wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm going to come straight out and tell you my hearts desire was to spend some quality time with her. I can see that I don't have her undivided attention and maybe we should try and hook up on a day she's less busy. Now if she's really my friend, she'll get the point and put the crackberry away. If she doesn't I've got my answer, and I politely wish her a good night. What more need to be said?

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  4. I know I am guilty of having my crackberry on the table during a lunch. If I am in the middle of a project or on a deadline I will appologize upfront about any possible texting/emailing that could come up. But it depends on the situation - if I was having lunch with a friend who was pouring her heart out about a breakup I would let that little red light flash away.

    But I'll tell what would really annoy me is if someone put their index finger up to shush me 5 times! I would have to answer that with another finger right back! ;)

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  5. Hmmmmm...good question. If it's just me and her...yeah I'd have a problem with it if we were talking over lunch. It would be different if we were somewhere and not talking or if we were there with a group of people and there were other people there I was talking to as well.

    If I were the one doing it I'd hope she understood that I usually only respond immediately to Robby if I'm out and about so yeah...Imma return his text.

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  6. I would first assume these interuptions are work related or some sort of personal emergency and give her a pass. However, I would mention to her how annoying it is and trust that she would make reasonable and appropiate adjustments.

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  7. Tiffany In HoustonApril 27, 2009 at 2:58 PM

    One or two times at COCKTAILS is understandable. Five times is a no. I'd be wrapping it up and chunking her the duece. And I'd certainly tell her why.

    I love Social Q's as well. Isn't the author appropriately snarky?? LOL!!!

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  8. That would have been her last call! I would definitely call her on it. One time my husband invited his Realtor friend over for dinner and that man stayed on his phone the entire time. I was appalled! I was angry at myself for not saying anything, then I was mad at my husband for inviting him, then I was just mad! Tell her next time to get off her phone, ok?

    Nikki D I love that Crackberry:)

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  9. I am addicted to my berry but I also have a big mouth and time is limited. So it wouldn't behoove to say "Gurl, I haven't seen in a month of Sundays. You wait to text". It's one thing if you have little kids at home and the sitter is texting you about your kids then that's fine. But when I'm out, if it's emails, it can wait. If it's a text from my kids I answer only them and that's it. But I do leave letting them know, if you have a problem "Tell your father, cause I'd rather not be disturbed".
    That's just me though and most of my friends know how I am.

    Technology is however making us socially ignorant. There should be an etiquette book on Social Technology Etiquette. So there's the title.

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  10. I would've called her out! Time is precious! Text on your own time!

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  11. As soon as she was done and said "Okay now where were we?" I'd whip out my blackberry and start texting! Okay, so I have a mean streak!

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  12. I'd tell her to put the damn phone down and stop acting like I came out to just stare at her in silence.

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  13. This happened to me when I was having lunch with a friend and she was constantly on her blackberry...I was a sucker and didn't say anything but next time she does it...I'm getting up and out the door I go....

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  14. Buh Bye! Clearly she has no time to spend with me so, I would let her off the hook :)

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